Sometimes listening to silence is the only way to hear

Today, I shut the television off, didn’t listen to the radio and didn’t even talk to myself. After a few days of being in the front car of an emotional rollercoaster, weighed down by life decisions, I just needed to stop.

And I did.

It’s been a while since I’ve done this, being preoccupied with work, errands or socializing but it was just what I needed. I listened to the silence.

I heard the sounds of the city: sirens, people on the street, the rain. I heard people in the hallway of my building: some laughing, children crying and a man talking on his phone.

But what I heard most was myself.

Yes, this sounds romance-novel, coming-of-age cheesy, but it was true. I knew whatever decision I would make about the future, I would be okay. I would find a way to bounce back or shift gears if it was the wrong one and embrace it if it was right for me. Did that help in the actual decision making process? No. But knowing even if I make what I believe is the best one for me right now and it turns out it isn’t, I’ll find a way out of the maze I got myself into.

I also realized the importance of just being. For the past year or so, I’ve been at going at things full-throttle and not making time to read, paint, write or even sing along (badly) to my favourite songs. I didn’t garden anymore, switch around furniture or browse shops with a coffee in hand.

So my fall resolution? Now I would. It’s as simple as that. Not only because I enjoy those things themselves but I enjoy what they bring to me, namely, a vacation for my mind. My brain has been on its hamster wheel going over things at a pace where I’m surprised I haven’t burned out many times over. That stops now.

So world, I’m at the cusp of experience a renaissance! And I couldn’t be more excited!

Screw the cape, I want a foot rub.

I walked a lot today. And this week. Great for the metabolism, bad for the feet.

It's times like this I wish I had bought that messaging foot bath that I saw on sale last year. "When will I use it?" I thought. Now, Past Me. Now.

As much as I'd like to think the Boy is my man servant and I can order him to do these things, I would feel bad.

So I will just think back to the fun times I had that lead up to this to dull the pain. And have some chocolate.

Happy Sunday!

Mr. Sandman

The older I get, the more I realize I need sleep and the more I refuse to give in.

If I get home late from work, I need to wind down and, depending on the day, that can sometimes mean foregoing Zzzs so I can feel like my whole existence is devoted to the daily grind.

Today was one of those days. Now I'm in my PJs, everything in place for a quick wake-up and I'm flopped on the couch watching American Pickers. It's a good episode but nothing I need to watch by any means. I just can't give in!

If I go to bed it shows weakness I tells ya!

Sigh.

Ok. There's just so much old sign bartering a girl can take for one night.

The weekend that just zipped by

I honestly feel like it was just Friday at quitting time. By here I am on Sunday night, in my jogging pants, procrastinating on folding my laundry. It was a weekend that I had planned on just sleeping and relaxing and then – bam! –last minute plans filled things up (in a good way!) with Sunday night making an earlier appearance that expected.

I’m Captain Lazy. Storage Wars is on. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen every episode so it’s just keeping me company. My guy is at work, the laundry I did on Wednesday is judging me for taking this long to fold it and I’m trying to figure out if anything I could wear to work needs to be ironed (likely). Blogging is obviously helping in all the things I have to do. :)

This weekend was actually pretty great! Hung out with work friends, the Boy and hopefully helped put a smile on a friend’s face who was a little down. I had hoped to go shopping for a new everyday purse this weekend, but that was a little sidetracked. No complaints though (although I wish I could just make everyone who needs it happy! I don’t like it when friends are blue).

So there we go. This was probably the most uneventful blog post in history.

To sing you out, a little blast from the past:

Enjoy the last few hours of the weekend!

Well, there goes that resolution

One thing on my long list of new year’s resolutions was to blog more. As we can all see, that didn’t happen. In fact, I sort of regressed into the unblogosphere (better known as real life) without putting pen to paper anywhere, even my journal.

Well, that stops now!

In an effort to catch all -13 of my readers up, here are some new and exciting things I’m doing/have happened/in my perspective on things:

-I joined a popular weight loss program that had ads on TV every 5.6 seconds and rhymes with Bait Botchers. So far, I’ve lost 7lbs and I’m supremely happy with the way it’s going. I’m addicted to the app I downloaded onto my phone and am constantly searching foods and recipes. It’s not painful and that is what I think the key to success will be.

-I’m trying to live life without any regrets and I’ve realised I regret not telling people what I think more. I’m a pretty outgoing person but there are times in non-Boy-related disagreements, I try to be too PC or agreeable. In one situation, I thought that would save it from spiralling out of control. It didn’t. I have now realised that it more has to do with the person you’re dealing with and how they can take honesty or situations. Life’s too short, so if someone else can’t handle you, your opinions or how you handle things (if you’re a normal functioning member of society, I mean. I’m not talking about criminals or the clinically insane), well, eff ‘em. That way you can keep the good in your inner circle and the negative far, far away.

-I’m trying to say yes more to social situations. I focused on some of the wrong people over the past couple of years and pulled away from others, so in an effort to regain connections with those I can relate with more and are good people, I’m trying to get out there as much as possible. It’s like dating but with friendships. And it’s been great. I had been ignoring way too many good people for it to be legal.

-Along with eating better, I’ve also vowed to shop less. That one is harder. I try to stay away from websites as well as shops. So far so good but this long-weekend was filled with aimlessly clicking emails with deals. No purchases yet. But it’s so hard! I found two cute sweaters at Gap, a nice dress at Old Navy and three pairs of discounted boots at Aldo. There was more but I’m limiting what I’m admitting to because well, it’s really unhealthy how much time I spent window shopping on my computer.

That’s a good run-down of some stuff. Let’s hope my resolution will keep in this month. You see, that’s why I make a long list of them – you’re more likely to have at least one of them stick.

One eye open

The theme of the past couple of blog posts has been me lying down. Well, it's *really* been the holidays but they start off with me being sleepy, lazy or full. This one is no different.

My face is smushed into my pillow, one of my eyes covered by fluffy-goodness. I actually set an alarm today since I'm meeting someone for lunch. Alarms over the holidays are unneeded. Especially when they're this early to allow for me to be a sloth.

There's a storm a brewing tonight. Luckily, I made no plans so I may just stay in with my mom and mull wine. Before that, I'd really like to get some boxing week shopping in.

Cross your fingers for me that I get a deal! :) Now to get up so I can use both eyes....

Food coma

I think this year has topped all recent Christmases in the amount of food put in my belly. Which means I've found some way to be horizontal since guests left my mom's place at 9ish.

When I was younger it was worse, since sometimes we would have so many people over we would have to make it buffet-style so everyone would fit. It was a ridiculous amount of tasty treats and everything was so good you just couldn't say no. And there were multiple desserts. Not two or three - we're talking seven. And it would mostly be gone by the end of it.

Now that holidays are less zoo-like, food has been scaled back and I've found a way to stay upright. Not this time. Nope. Wine and turkey means yum-tastic sleepiness. Cheesecake means I need to be rolled everywhere.

So once everyone left, this was my view (below) and I stayed that way until I got upstairs to my old bedroom. Need to sleep this off.

And no doubt breakfast will be leftovers. Ah, the magical holiday season! Merry Christmas!